Friday, January 16, 2009

Gifts of Gaia

This above image (artwork by Jess-Wolf Hardin) is from the new website for Anima and when I saw Jesse-Wolf Hardin's artwork of the woman holding the bounties of the Earth I literally gasped. There is some sort of connection here that I am finding truly amazing and his artwork resonates to my very core.

Some of you are aware that our primary business is Heaven and Earth Designs and as you know we deal with hundreds of artists and I have never had anyone's art affect me the way that his does. The one thing that strikes me most often is that his portrayals are portraying the way that I "feel". Simply amazing.....

Ok, last night I continued work on my Path of Heart course and the questions are answered from the heart, no veils, no judging just simple outpouring of the heart. I have studied alot of various courses and materials in my 45 years and I have never "signed up" for anything but this is different and I have to tell you that I am very glad that the Universe led me to this magical place with caretakers that are genuine and of true spirit.

Wolf, Kiva-Rose, Loba and Rhiannon are more than caretakers, they are charged with the care of the land indeed but they are also charged with so much more than that. The responsibilities of guiding those that have a calling are immense and I have a great respect for what they are doing. I encourage you to look further into their site and hopefully you can walk away feeling a little better about the day or even perhaps embark on a journey by taking a course?

Part of the assignments is to make a list of reasonable or even unreasonable expectations by others such as parents, friends, family etc. Part of me fulfilling this assignment was to record what I thought my expectations were of myself and then my family and then that of my parents (who are both deceased). I am currently focusing on the expectations of my family and part of that was to sit down with Bob and the girls last night and to have a true heart to heart. Here is the outcome.

Harmony's (9) response to my question of "What do you expect of me as your Mother". She replied after some very long pensive looks:
Harmony: "I don't expect anything"
Me: "Really? Do you know what I mean by "expect"?
Harmony: "Yes, that means that there is something that someone has to do"
Me: "Yes, that is correct, so you don't have any expectations of me?"
Harmony: "No, you don't have to do anything for us, you love us and that is why you read to us, play games with us and make sure that we eat healthy"

Needless to say, I was astounded at the grown up comments from this little being and I was even more astounded that the expectations were not expectations but they were of love, they would still know that I love them if I didn't cook dinner, wash their clothes or even read to them. They know that, there are no strings, no attachments no expectations.....

I asked the same question of Emilie (7) and her responses were:

Emilie: "I know what expectation means Mom and it means that you have a duty to do something kinda like when we have to take a bath or clean our room without you asking"
Me: "That is correct, so what are your expectations of me?"
Emilie: "I would expect that when I hug you, you hug me back"
Me: "I will always do that for you, what else?"
Emilie: "That you will take care of people"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Emilie:" You take care of people Mom, you make sure that people are taken care of"
Me: "Can you explain a little more?"
Emilie: "sigh", you make sure that people are happy, you know what I mean Mom"

With that I learned or at least confirmed that my habit is to make sure that I am the sing song happy person that I am expected to be. This is something that my parents instilled in me, it is not ok to be anything other than happy and never let on that you are unhappy. This kind of behavior has led to the habit of burying emotion and the habit of stuffing frustrations etc. This explains why I have several meltdowns since the tornado. I have put Harmony into counseling, I have encourged Bob to do the same and we have educated the girls in the effects of Weather to prepare for the Spring (which is going to be rough) and the potential for storms and how they form. I have "take care" of everyone else but I have not taken care of me and I truly believe that I am on the start of that journey now.
I also learned the flip side of this comment which is that I need to speak to people, I need to guide people, there is something here that needs to be done and I am looking forward to that discovery of self.
Please take a moment today and hug a child, call a parent, pet your pet and be glad that the moment is available to you without "expectations".

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