This image (from Jesse-Wolf Hardin of Anima) above is the perfect depiction of how I feel the past couple of days. I have risen up and I feel whole and complete. After meeting with the Homeopath we decided that a detox was in order and I realized that in my coffee and tea consumption I was consuming anywhere between 15 and 25 packets of Sweet and Low each day. I was horrified to learn this and I committed to leaving the caffeinated drinks far behind as well as cleaning up my diet.
This was Monday the 7th, by the time afternoon on Tuesday rolled around I was in bad shape, migraine headache, blurry vision, vertigo and in pain. I called a dear friend and asked her to come over and feed the horses and she graciously agreed, thank the Goddess. It was an effort to even drive home. I pulled up opened the door to the house and left a trail of coat, shoes, purse, lunch bag and headed for bed. I slept until about 9pm and then I couldn't get enough water and started rehydrating myself.
Wednesday was better but not much but I got through the work day and got home chores done and then remained still the rest of the evening. It was pretty much the same for the remainder of the week with some odd symptoms thrown in each day that varied from one to the next. From sensitivity in my fingers to a deep burning sensation in my core to feeling like I had the flu. Things I have never experienced as I have always thought of myself as healthy with only 4 visits to the Doctor in my lifetime.
Friday night I remained still for the evening and by being still I mean that I just existed. I didn't do anything that was a requirement other than the necessities. I played with the girls, watched a movie, and did some knitting. After going to bed I was was awoken to a burning sensation in my core that radiated to my back and I was contemplating going to the ER it was that intense. I waited it out and it passed.
Saturday morning I woke up and started my day and I quickly realized that I felt good! I didn't have the joint pain, I wasn't exhausted and I actually wanted to do things. I was motivated! A feeling that I had not had in a very long time! It felt good so I took advantage and completely redid the studio, put the meditation room back together again (not done since moved back in) and put other small projects in order. I felt good!
I keep saying that, I feel good and I am so glad that I can say that. I was scared and desperate and worried that I was truly ill. It seems that the Sweet and Low and Caffeine and diet was making me sick and it truly is amazing that these things can creep in and take hold before we know what hit us.
In light of what I have experienced I know that I also need to do some healing. The tornado had a terrible effect on me and there was so much loss with the trees and the property that I am having a hard time reconciling what I need to do here and my purpose.
I have embarked on a correspondence course with the Anima Organization, I have chosen to start with the Sacred Heart course and am very intrigued with the course materials that I have received so far. The girls and I would love to attend the Wild Woman's Gathering in the Summer if time permits. The Center is in the Gila mountains of New Mexico and if you have a moment, please browse the Anima site, it is a treat and you might find some good medicine along the way.
So, I promised I would return and here I am. I am ready to get back to the business of life.
Here are some fruits of that return:
Circle of Life