Monday, January 17, 2011

Changes and Questions

Sometimes I wonder why I try and help people when they don't listen to perfectly good advice and you just have to stand back and watch them make huge mistakes.

I know that I can't control mistakes people make but when it is family and they do it over and over and over again, can't they see the wall that they have hit?  Can't they see the pain that it causes themselves and others around them, can't they see the mistakes they make are in most cases so big that it is life changing for the negative.

I just don't get it...........

I want to help but I have realized that I can't help someone that does not want to help themselves.  I realize too that in this case the person can't think of consequences and they live in the moment which is very selfish and you know what that is it exactly (aha moment as I type this), selfishness.  They hurt their children, they hurt their spouse and they hurt their family all for the a moment of not thinking of how others feel.

I myself think in the opposite and everyone around me comes before me within reason and you know what, I like it that way.  I like to give, I like to help and the rewards of doing just that make it so wonderful to live each day in thought of giving.

I have learned that insecurity = selfish, it is a mechanism of protection so that one does not get hurt, she has shrouded herself well in the guise of insecurity and I can only hope that she receives the support she needs to move beyond it.  Selfish people end of lonely......


  1. unfortunately, sometimes you just have to let them get on with it, even though you can see the harm there actions are causing. If you get involved you just wind up being the 'problem'. not any easy situation and the resulting stress can be very disruptive for all. It sounds like your meditation cushions will be getting a lot of use.
    {{{{hugs}}}} Elizabeth

  2. You can't stop them from doing what they are going to do. My mother used to almost chant "she has every right in the world to destroy her life" as if it would make it somehow easier. All you can do is try to heal the wreckage left behind. *hugs*

  3. Sometimes, you just have to let them find their way. When you try to help--especially if not asked, and sometimes even then--you're likely to be seen as part of the problem, not the solution. It's when they don't learn from their mistakes that you throw up you hands. All you can do is help with the healing in the aftermath of the disaster. ((((Hugs))))

  4. Michele, dear, I feel your pain and discouragement. I love you just for you. Please stay as bright a light as you are. It all works out somehow.