Monday, January 31, 2011

Our Weekend

Well, we took off Friday night and headed to our favorite sushi place at Mall of America and then to check into the hotel (The Hilton) and were greeted by a room that was terribly hot and then told that with the cold weather they had to shut down their coolers so it was around 80 degrees and very uncomfortable for sleeping.

We slept in for a bit Saturday morning and headed down for breakfast and then off to the Mall, the girls got their passes for Nickelodeon Park and we headed out to my favorite tea store Teavana and in passing we stopped at a jewelry shop to ask about a band for Bob's Rado watch.  His was a gift from his parents and while he loves it the rubber band was uncomfortable and too warm for all the work that does outside etc.  We were informed that there was no replacement so I swallowed hard and urged him to pick out a new watch and he got this.  The gift was for his 50th birthday and I really wanted him to have something that he was more comfortable with as far as the band.  I am so glad, he adores it.  Not that he didn't like the other one but the band made it hard to work and tended to pull on his arm hairs.  It was frustrating to hear that the band could not be replaced.  Anyway, he has what he truly loves and he tends to buy so few things for himself, this was truly something that made him smile.

We then met the girls at American Girl for lunch and had a wonderful time dining with their dolls.   Back to the park we went and waited while they enjoyed some more rides.  We were exhausted at this point and headed back to the hotel for some R&R before dinner.  We decided on Macaroni Grill and this is a place that holds special meaning for us as it was the first place that Bob and I shared dinner together, we always try to go to one when there is one in the town that we are visiting and this time it was a disappointment, the food was over an hour in getting to us and it was stone cold when it arrived :-(  They did give us the meal for free but we were saddened nonetheless and I suppose this is why so many have closed in recent years, it really is too bad.

After that, we came back and settled in (to a hot room) and then left Sunday morning due to an impending snow storm heading our way (we nixed IMAX).  I promptly decided I wasn't feeling good on the way home and by the time we got back I had the full body aches and landed in bed the rest of the day.  It just does not pay to go anywhere :-(

Friday, January 28, 2011

Full Breaths

As I have taken breaths the past 4 months they have shallow, filled with apprehension and stress.  My breaths the past few days have been filling and I can feel the hopeful days ahead.  Even as I meditate I am able to finally able to find center and let my brain go blank, it has been a canvas full of a myriad of colors, dark colors with little light, the light is now returning.

Friday, one more weekend and then it will be a cleaning like none other from top to bottom, washing away the splashes on walls, the food particles that are everywhere, stains from nail polish/juice/toothpaste on carpet, hand prints on windows and Heavens knows what else.  The house has been slowly destroyed over the past 4 months and it will be good to have my stuff back on tables, my precious belongings displayed where I like them, the girls rooms to be back in order and Emilie gets her play room back for her American Girl stuff and they need to no longer fear leaving something out.

I am really looking forward to this....

Have a wonderful weekend everyone and I start my countdown today, 4 more days.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Long Roads Long Views and Realizations

The past several days have been very hard and I had to make some pretty hard decisions to protect myself and my family.  I have made arrangements to have the g'kids placed elsewhere as we can no longer do this for many many reasons.

The Long Road - 4 months of trying to help and realizing that I can only do so much before I put my own well being at risk.

Long Views - Seeing that there is a way out and while hard it is one that has to be taken to protect my family and their well being.

Realizations - That I can only do so much and I can't fix the world and I can't fix a very troubled 4 year old.

I want to thank everyone that knows what we are dealing with and their words of wisdom and their shoulders of support.  There is light at the end of the tunnel and I can see hope.

Monday, January 24, 2011

We want to go...


We need a break from screaming kids, hurt Daughters, dysfunctional family members and making very hard calls to very important people regarding bad parenting from 1 parent that chooses to abandon her children.  Sigh, it does not need to be this hard..... 

I can take my laptop with me and still make charts, can we go?  Pretty please?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dangerously Cold? Ya think!

It is officially -30 degrees and the news has coined several terms that definitely apply which range from "stupid cold", "dangerously cold" to "bone chilling cold".  It is just bitter out there and I am sitting here trying to figure out how to let horses out.  They have been warning that frost bite will ensue in less than 10 minutes on any exposed skin.  Chores take an hour so I guess I do it in small increments, the eyes are the hardest part in this.  The moisture literally freezes and you can't blink, sigh.....  Wish me luck.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Moonbeams and Sprites

As I was preparing the girls lunches for school today Harmony came racing in and said "Mom, you have to see this" and I followed her out to the sitting room where I was graced with one of the most beautiful moons I have ever seen.  It was rising above the horizon and surrounded by clouds and flanked by the skeleton of a tree that was damaged by the tornado.  I was utterly haunting and utterly beautiful.  I grabbed my camera and shot it the best I could, I got 4 pictures....

As we gathered the girls and g'kids they headed to the car for school (Bob drops off and I pick up) and I headed to office.  I sat down and answered a few emails and then decided to see if I got any viable shots of the moon.  I slipped in the card and pulled up Paint Shop and was rather amazed at what I saw.  What are those little zig zags toward the bottom?  Sprites, a camera issue?  I will leave it to you...

One is white and one is blue and they seem to be following each other, how odd.....  Here is an image of them closer and they almost appear to be flowers.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Changes and Questions

Sometimes I wonder why I try and help people when they don't listen to perfectly good advice and you just have to stand back and watch them make huge mistakes.

I know that I can't control mistakes people make but when it is family and they do it over and over and over again, can't they see the wall that they have hit?  Can't they see the pain that it causes themselves and others around them, can't they see the mistakes they make are in most cases so big that it is life changing for the negative.

I just don't get it...........

I want to help but I have realized that I can't help someone that does not want to help themselves.  I realize too that in this case the person can't think of consequences and they live in the moment which is very selfish and you know what that is it exactly (aha moment as I type this), selfishness.  They hurt their children, they hurt their spouse and they hurt their family all for the a moment of not thinking of how others feel.

I myself think in the opposite and everyone around me comes before me within reason and you know what, I like it that way.  I like to give, I like to help and the rewards of doing just that make it so wonderful to live each day in thought of giving.

I have learned that insecurity = selfish, it is a mechanism of protection so that one does not get hurt, she has shrouded herself well in the guise of insecurity and I can only hope that she receives the support she needs to move beyond it.  Selfish people end of lonely......

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Moment of Gratitude

I often think to myself "I am so lucky to experience the things that I choose to experience".  This comes to so many levels, the artwork that we chart, the people that we get to know each day and even the trials and tribulations which just make us stronger.

With that being said Thank You to everyone and I know that there are just a handful that read my blog but still we are so very appreciative of everyone.

As I finished the charting of a few pieces from a new artist by the name of Jeremiah Ketner (his work is immensely popular and will be lining the walls of select Nordstrom's stores)  I am again reminded of how fortunate we are to experience such beauty and variety in all that we do.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Balancing Act

Thank you JM for suggesting today's QS/SK releases, I adore them:

I have been trying to find balance in my recent days and by balance I mean trying to juggle all the balls that are the hats that I wear.  My day started with playing with my new Keurig Coffee Machine and tried the Earl Grey Tea which was yummy and then followed it with a coffee by the name of Black Noir.  I normally only have one cup of coffee or tea in the morning and let's just say that after two cups of caffeine the juggling became alot harder ;-)

We have hired my Daughter In Law, Heather to work full time for the company and she will be responsible for first getting all the floss usages on the site and then on to about 2 years worth of work that I have just not had time to do such as adding finish images to the charts, contract updates, answering the phone (that rings all day and we miss so many phone calls) and eventually emails for the Wholesale side of things.  We hope that she likes the work and that everything goes smoothly.

I have been trying to find more time to meditate now that my Son and Heather are back together and the time needed for babysitting the G'kids is reduced.  I just can't seem to find the time and I also tend to avoid it as my space is not as comfortable as I like even after purchasing a Zafu set.  What I would really like is this but way beyond what I could ever afford, someday maybe.....

Here's to finding balance in all of our lives and even if it is for a moment it is better than none.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Can White Get Whiter?

Another 5 inches of snow last night and the landscape just seems to get whiter with little definition of things since they are all covered by snow now.  We still have 2 months of Winter and are at a point where we don't have anywhere left to put the stuff.

Thank Heavens the paddock that we use for the Senior horses is just that as the snow is up to the fence line now and if they were any younger they could easily step over.

Yesterday was a day of trying to get caught up on various tasks and we will resume with new releases shortly.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Reflections on the Pond

"Never regret anything because at one time it is exactly what you wanted"

As I meet new people I am always pulled back to center and we seem to always get what we need when we need it.

Yesterday was Emilie's birthday party and as the parents arrived to drop off their daughters I met a variety of folks.  a Great
Grandmother that is caretaker of of her Grand Daughters Daughter, a Father whose wife had passed away recently, another family whose parents used to take swimming lessons here back in the 60's, lot's of good conversation and interesting stories.  We drove to the indoor water park and I got a good 3 hours of reading and photo taking.  The girls had a great time!

We got home a little later than we had planned and parents were already here to pick up their daughters and as I chatted and saw folks off I realized that one parent was still in the driveway as her Daughter was still with Emilie.  I invited her in and as we chatted I wanted to talk more so invited her to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.  With the G'kids talking and my Son and his wife prepping dinner and all the chaos going on we talked of organic soap, sustainable lifestyles, co-op's for food, raw foods and veganism.

This was a woman that I quickly came to respect and realized that we shared so many of the same thoughts and lifestyle.

I have missed having someone to talk to of things of the not so ordinary and considered wildly different in this part of the world.  I was home for a moment and I do hope to share a cup of tea or coffee with this kindred spirit in the near future.

Wild and Free (Thank you Tammi Joy)

Friday, January 7, 2011

Sometimes Things Spill

I have so much overflowing at the moment, snow, children, peace, hope, love, tea, horses and then the actual liquid form with 5 children living here.

My only hope is to have an overflow of time which I know is impossible so I lean on the things above and be grateful in my heart for these things.

I have an evening tonight without babysitting little ones and I plan on a glass of Drambuie, a game with the girls, time with husband actually a conversation on some subject other than kids or business, read a couple of chapters from Illusions (which my Daughter is now reading as well), perhaps a movie and some restful sleep which has been rather elusive lately.

Here's to a restful weekend full of just that as well as accomplishments and plenty of dreaming.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Peaceful Visions

Everybody's got a hunger
No matter where they are
Everybody clings to their own fear
Everybody hides some scar

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Skeletons of Winter

So often during this time of year as I wander out to the barn I am reminded by the skeletons of the Spring and Summer.  Stubby little shells of what once balanced beautiful blossoms of varied colors.  They now serve as reminders as their once green bodies are now brown but once held the beauties of warmer temperatures sans the brave red souls below.

There is little to the landscape but brown and white and as we enter the depth of the cold months we are faced with temperatures that are often negative and will reach a bitter negative something degrees that will definitely reach the double digits.  I hunker down and try not to leave the house but do enjoy the first breaths of the chilly air until my lungs are filled and my cheeks are burning as I trudge through the snow that leaves the tracks of other treks.

Emilie had her 9th Birthday last night and she was so excited to finally get her much beloved American Girl doll - Felicity.

Her sister pondered how she kind of missed out this year with being sick on her Birthday and this photo caught her mood perfectly.  She is an old soul and has such a kind heart.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Reward Program Finishes

I always look forward to the reward submissions and this round has been spectacular!  Here are some finishes submitted and we do hope that you enjoy them :-)