Long Roads Long Views and Realizations

The past several days have been very hard and I had to make some pretty hard decisions to protect myself and my family.  I have made arrangements to have the g'kids placed elsewhere as we can no longer do this for many many reasons.

The Long Road - 4 months of trying to help and realizing that I can only do so much before I put my own well being at risk.

Long Views - Seeing that there is a way out and while hard it is one that has to be taken to protect my family and their well being.

Realizations - That I can only do so much and I can't fix the world and I can't fix a very troubled 4 year old.

I want to thank everyone that knows what we are dealing with and their words of wisdom and their shoulders of support.  There is light at the end of the tunnel and I can see hope.

We want to go...

Here:

We need a break from screaming kids, hurt Daughters, dysfunctional family members and making very hard calls to very important people regarding bad parenting from 1 parent that chooses to abandon her children.  Sigh, it does not need to be this hard..... 

I can take my laptop with me and still make charts, can we go?  Pretty please?

Dangerously Cold? Ya think!

It is officially -30 degrees and the news has coined several terms that definitely apply which range from "stupid cold", "dangerously cold" to "bone chilling cold".  It is just bitter out there and I am sitting here trying to figure out how to let horses out.  They have been warning that frost bite will ensue in less than 10 minutes on any exposed skin.  Chores take an hour so I guess I do it in small increments, the eyes are the hardest part in this.  The moisture literally freezes and you can't blink, sigh.....  Wish me luck.

Moonbeams and Sprites

As I was preparing the girls lunches for school today Harmony came racing in and said "Mom, you have to see this" and I followed her out to the sitting room where I was graced with one of the most beautiful moons I have ever seen.  It was rising above the horizon and surrounded by clouds and flanked by the skeleton of a tree that was damaged by the tornado.  I was utterly haunting and utterly beautiful.  I grabbed my camera and shot it the best I could, I got 4 pictures....

As we gathered the girls and g'kids they headed to the car for school (Bob drops off and I pick up) and I headed to office.  I sat down and answered a few emails and then decided to see if I got any viable shots of the moon.  I slipped in the card and pulled up Paint Shop and was rather amazed at what I saw.  What are those little zig zags toward the bottom?  Sprites, a camera issue?  I will leave it to you...

One is white and one is blue and they seem to be following each other, how odd.....  Here is an image of them closer and they almost appear to be flowers.

Changes and Questions

Sometimes I wonder why I try and help people when they don't listen to perfectly good advice and you just have to stand back and watch them make huge mistakes.

I know that I can't control mistakes people make but when it is family and they do it over and over and over again, can't they see the wall that they have hit?  Can't they see the pain that it causes themselves and others around them, can't they see the mistakes they make are in most cases so big that it is life changing for the negative.

I just don't get it...........

I want to help but I have realized that I can't help someone that does not want to help themselves.  I realize too that in this case the person can't think of consequences and they live in the moment which is very selfish and you know what that is it exactly (aha moment as I type this), selfishness.  They hurt their children, they hurt their spouse and they hurt their family all for the a moment of not thinking of how others feel.

I myself think in the opposite and everyone around me comes before me within reason and you know what, I like it that way.  I like to give, I like to help and the rewards of doing just that make it so wonderful to live each day in thought of giving.

I have learned that insecurity = selfish, it is a mechanism of protection so that one does not get hurt, she has shrouded herself well in the guise of insecurity and I can only hope that she receives the support she needs to move beyond it.  Selfish people end of lonely......

A Moment of Gratitude

I often think to myself "I am so lucky to experience the things that I choose to experience".  This comes to so many levels, the artwork that we chart, the people that we get to know each day and even the trials and tribulations which just make us stronger.

With that being said Thank You to everyone and I know that there are just a handful that read my blog but still we are so very appreciative of everyone.

As I finished the charting of a few pieces from a new artist by the name of Jeremiah Ketner (his work is immensely popular and will be lining the walls of select Nordstrom's stores)  I am again reminded of how fortunate we are to experience such beauty and variety in all that we do.

Balancing Act

Thank you JM for suggesting today's QS/SK releases, I adore them:

I have been trying to find balance in my recent days and by balance I mean trying to juggle all the balls that are the hats that I wear.  My day started with playing with my new Keurig Coffee Machine and tried the Earl Grey Tea which was yummy and then followed it with a coffee by the name of Black Noir.  I normally only have one cup of coffee or tea in the morning and let's just say that after two cups of caffeine the juggling became alot harder ;-)

We have hired my Daughter In Law, Heather to work full time for the company and she will be responsible for first getting all the floss usages on the site and then on to about 2 years worth of work that I have just not had time to do such as adding finish images to the charts, contract updates, answering the phone (that rings all day and we miss so many phone calls) and eventually emails for the Wholesale side of things.  We hope that she likes the work and that everything goes smoothly.

I have been trying to find more time to meditate now that my Son and Heather are back together and the time needed for babysitting the G'kids is reduced.  I just can't seem to find the time and I also tend to avoid it as my space is not as comfortable as I like even after purchasing a Zafu set.  What I would really like is this but way beyond what I could ever afford, someday maybe.....

Here's to finding balance in all of our lives and even if it is for a moment it is better than none.